Best Funny Facebook Status Updates

1. If I were any more single, I'd be a fraction. :)
2. Bigamy: One wife too many. Monogamy: Same thing.
3. Why don't you understand me like my iPhone does????
4. Keyboard, A device for entering mistakes into a computer.
5. Some men inherit money, some earn it, and some are lawyers.
6. If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.
7. Losing a husband can be hard. In my case, it was almost impossible.
8. Me and Jenny goes together like peas and carrots. ~ Forrest Gump
9. You have the capacity to learn from your mistakes. You will learn a lot today.
10. I am finally old enough to realize my father was right, but now my kids think I am wrong.
11. An apple a day keeps the doctor away but if the doctor is beautiful throw the apple away!
12. World Population Rank: 1. China 2. India 3. Facebook 4. USA 5. MySpace 6. Indonesia 7. Brazil 8.Twitter
13. You have the voice of an angel. Your voice is like a combination of Fergie and Jesus. ~StepBrothers
14. Children: You spend the first 2 years of their life teaching them to walk and talk. Then you spend the next 16 years telling them to sit down and shut-up.